I'm Insane

I don't know why I've not been updating. I wanted to write about this one thing but it's like really serious and requires some work. And I've been really busy sleeping twelve hours a day and watching old episodes of Criminal Minds since the new ones are breaking my heart. Anyway. Writing's always really hard for me, you know? Maybe because my thoughts are always so abstract and fluttery, like wisps zooming around the inside of my brain, that it's hard for jaded, unskilled old me to catch them and pin them down into something as solid and inanimate as words. Plus, I'm sure you've all heard me rant on how inadequate our human language is? So inadequate I can't even find the words to tell you how much so it is?

But come. Let's try. We'll do this really enlightening exercise where I just type out whatever is floating around in my brain.

If reincarnation were to really happen, what do you wish to be reincarnated as? Look, I'm just thinking out loud here, as a person whose religious belief does not involve reincarnation, so please do not take offense at my ignorance. I've heard people say that you, as a human, should do good things so you don't get reincarnated as, let's say, a beetle. But honestly? I think being reincarnated as a beetle would be better than being reincarnated as a human. Because if you believe in karma, you shouldn't want to be reincarnated as a human, as compared to a beetle (in my opinion). Why? Because beetles aren't evil. They're not like humans. Beetles don't lie or bitch or grudge or be mean. So, given the choice, would you rather choose a life where you would inevitably inflict evil on others or a life where you would do good and (depending on your belief system) be celestially rewarded for it? I quote Mark Twain: "Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it."

Since we're on the topic of reincarnation, imagine if you were reincarnated as a human body cell. Tee hee hee, what a ho-hum that would be! Like if you were a nerve cell, you'd be really stuck-up, because nerve cells are irreplaceable ergo super important. If you were a white blood cell you'd be oozy and gooey and squeeze through capillary walls to chomp off bacteria (om nom nom). Or if you were a skin cell, and flaked off and died before you even had time to make friends!

Imagine if raindrops were alive as we knew it. They'd make friends as they formed from water vapour, racing against each other to see who got fatter faster. And then imagine what they would say as they made their way down to earth! Would they go, "Wheeeee!", seeing as it's probably the moment they've been waiting for their whole life? Or would they just sit back, tuck their arms behind their heads and talk about, well, I don't know, the weather? Would they be exchanging fond farewells? Or would they be seeing as much as they could see, possibly seeing miles and miles and rivers and valleys and highways and buildings?

Yeah. So. Just to clear some things up.

I stole that quote from Criminal Minds.

I do not really want to be reincarnated as a beetle.

Nor a human body cell.

I should do this more often, but I realise I hardly make any sense at all.

In conclusion, jacietanchenghwee should keep her thoughts abstract because a) bringing them into this world is too much work and b) they should just stay that way.