Trials

Trials have officially ended today.

There's nothing particularly special about how I went through trials; I experienced symptoms none too extraordinary - severe lack of sleep, general lack of appetite, unhealthy dependence on coffee, deprivation of favourite things to do, and the occasional breakdowns, neurological or emotional.

The only thing I seem to have contrived that others haven't, however, is a shocking deterioration language-wise, and coupled with some lack of coherence thought-wise, this is going to make for a very unreadable post, but I've wanted to write this for really long. For say what you like, trials were really tough for me, but I got through it, and not by myself.

I love everyone. Like my mum and dad. They took a lot snipes and snaps and outright refusals of food from me that they'd never have taken otherwise. And they supplied me with coffee. (Words cannot express how much that means to me.) And ice cream. And my mum stayed up with me to study most nights. I don't know how they did it and my parents rock.

I love the beautiful girls Nicole Low Yen Yi and Chalystha Lee Yie Qin. Whatsapping with them every day kept me sane. Although sane might not be the operative word. Think about that. Take one girl studying like mad for trials, multiply that by three, and put it into a group conversation, and you won't find anything that makes sense. You'll get a lot of emoticons, that's for sure. (I am addicted to the whatsapp emoticons. Today I put "television" as my answer in Physics because all I could think about was the cute little TV icon whatsapp has.) The two of them reminded me that I wasn't #foreveralone - we were all in the same [insert emoticon of "boat" here] after all.

Ho Hui Jan. I love her sooooo much. Every single day before my papers she would text me a good luck ♥. And they would make me :DDD like anything. It just means a lot that she would take time to remember me stressing out over trials, and make me feel better. Idk what I ever did to get a friend like her and guys, she is just awesome.

I owe Xin You thanks too for he has kept me off the edge several, several times see he can be pretty rockin' when he's not being annoying. (Kidding.) Not least to the ones who keep me company all the time while I'm studying,  fellow whatsapp buddy Gan and especially Terence. Never forgetting several awesome teachers I am so lucky to have teaching me, oh you know all the schoolteachers besides that one, that one and that one, but also to Pn. Z and Mr. R.

And to continue in my all-the-speeches-at-the-Grammy's-combined fashion, I would like to thank the music that I listen to, my sort of music, all those amazing, amazing artists who are responsible for the permanent misshapening of my ears due to the earphones of my beloved iPod Alethea - music keeps a person on track when everything else seems off. And I would like to thank my coffee, I love you coffee, starbucks, coffee bean, perak coffee, and of course my one and only drug, my thick black thick black thick black beautiful aromatic lovely wonderful indescribable amazing intoxicating thick black Penang coffee. And my energy supplements and other vitamins. Without popping those five pills a day like a pro I would be sick by now lol.

But one thing I'm going to ensure is that this won't be happening for SPM. I will be ready for it, and I won't be having coffee instead of interstitial fluid in my brain, I won't be pulling three to four eyelashes out every time I aim for my contacts due to lack of sleep, I won't be not eating, and I won't be freaking out. I hope. Sigh. I never thought I would be afraid of failing any of my subjects for trials, either (thanks, addmaths), when I was anticipating this before.

I'm giving myself a week of freedom before getting to for the SPM, during which I need to cram in as many things as I can, such as watching all my beloved TV shows, reading a Bordersful of books, study LOTR to the max, rewatch a bunch of romance movies, tumblr, fangirl like a freak, spend quality time with certain beloveds, and go prom dress shopping. Lol at the last.

Oh, but wait. You want to know what the funny thing is? A very tiny part of me didn't want these trials to end. Because this was the last exam we sat as a class. We're not going to sit for SPM like this. As 5A. 5 perAlihan. Yeap, that's us. I'm not going to be able to turn around and know exactly where everyone's seated, in alphabetical order, anymore. We're not going to be able to do all those stupid things we do during papers that we're not supposed to do. No more "SSSSH"'s from Tzen Ren when someone drops a pencil on the ground. No more tossing around of staplers. No more annoying idiots making water droplet sounds during the paper. No more insanely tense class atmosphere whenever we're all cramming together minutes before the exam starts. No more forever starting late because we always start late. This was our last paper. And now trials have ended, and we're not even going to be a proper class anymore. Today we took down our pictographical "duty rooster" and handed the keys over to the PMR brats. Our time together's up.

Trials have officially ended today.