Thursday, November 26, 2009

By way of explanation

I suppose I ought to elaborate on my last post, perhaps more for myself than for anyone else. It is not a poem - I think it would be rather desecration to call it poetry - but they're not plain old sentences either. I didn't sit down with the intention to write it, but I did, in about less than 40 seconds. Same like what happened with my "Rue To The World" poem. Sigh. If only my "ssh" would come along that quickly. Yesterday my mom asked me about it, and I said I was to lazy to continue working on it. She told me I couldn't give up. And I think that was about one of the nicest tones she could have said it in.

Getting back to the topic - oh dear, I'm getting horribly sidetracked. It must be reading too much of Anne Shirley, it's a bad influence on me. I'm reading the fourth book now - I have the first three, and I've read the first book about, oh, I don't know, 7 times since I was ten years old - and it's my latest "phase". That's the thing about me - books I read and shows I watch have the heaviest influence on me. I think reading Anne of Green Gables when I was young turned me into a little bit like her. Though I could never be exactly like Anne. Sighs. Moving on.

I wrote that bit of nonsense earlier and I'm very proud of it. I think I couldn't have captured an outpour of feelings into a few nice-sounding lines more successfully. Therefore, I love it and have patted myself on the back on account of it. It would do very well for you to compliment me on it. Because words are so useless, really, and it is very seldom you get them to do as you wish them to. And now I have, in that little verse, and sunlight has finally spilled over the shade cast over me.

P.S. Is it just me, or is there something different about this post? I think it's my writing style.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


You inspired me
I saw you only for a fraction of time
But you, being what you were, managed to make me want to be a better person
You made me want to get up and make a difference
I looked in the mirror, and I wanted to change myself to change the world
You made want to me pick myself up
You made me want to brighten up my life
But then I never saw you again
And now the feeling's going away
So I ask myself
Was it worth it
Or was it all a waste of time?
But I know I'll get over this
Although our paths crossed once
Although I fell in love
Now we're living in parallel worlds
Never to meet again.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Super belated Joey's Bday post

Sorry about the super belatedness! Anyway. Joey's birthday. Erm.


LiSar came over to my house like super frigging early in the morning, stoopid gal. We played Tekken 5 in which I kept trashing her until I felt sorry for her and gave her chance. God I hope she's not reading this. Moving on. We finally left so we could reach there at 11.30, and when we were squishing in the car, I received a call from a boy named Gan.

Where are you?
Er... in the car?
Now only in the car?!
You're there already?
Nicole told me to come before 11!

Poor boy. Surely had to wake up super early to catch the bus and reach before eleven. Moving on. We reached there and met up with Gan's twin - I mean James - who brought his friend, Jessica, who turned out to be a very nice girl, and seeing I'm quite suspicious of people I meet for the first time at gatherings like this, that's really a compliment. :) In Shogun, I would've eaten a lot more, but sadly everyone wasn't in the mood for eating, so I think I only ate about RM 40 worth to make sure I didn't rugi. How depressing. The food was a lot better at Shogun 2 years ago.

Some parts of the day were like uuberly awkward, due to the nature of "clique-ing" within our very own party - which was rather - absurd. It was also awkward when weirdos like Chee Hoe and Mel Yee turned up to give Joey presents, then disappeared, only for us to bump into them later with a couple of old SSPians. Haha. I was glad to see Chloe though, because she hadn't changed much, and that was nice.

I enjoyed getting candid shots with nic's camera. God! I've improved! I especially had fun when I found a great subject to focus on - a boy, named, well, I don't really know whether Terence is his real name or not. Anyway! If you want to see my beeauuuuuutiful handiwork, please go to nic's blog and patiently wait for the pics to upload.

I'm very tired now. No, actually, I'm not, but my eyes are all swollen due to the heavy crying I'd done just now. I feel oddly relieved and sort of elated after crying. Is that weird?

Sunday, November 22, 2009


It's like climbing to the very top of a high, rocky mountain on a hot, sunny day.
And finding there was nothing much there after all.

Friday, November 20, 2009


I'm too upset to do anything right now. Apparently my family had to go and eat my favourite pan mee which I've been craving to eat so long, WITHOUT ME. Ah well. Like a dagger through my heart.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


Just came back from my overnight stay at Genting with Jeannie and Mark, which was 1 day after I came back from Fraser's. :) We stayed at First World hotel (God, the line to check in) which turned out much, much better than expected (once again, I was keeping my hopes low). But I didn't really expect the hotel to be filled with like five hundred thousand CINA people, all seriously lala muis and lala zais I swear, either that or old Chinese aunties nagging. There were like five CINA people in each of the two rooms opposite ours, and the kept opening and closing the doors to talk to each other in the middle of the night. In the end, my sister called security. HA! HA!

The outdoor theme park was awesome, it didn't rain, and we made the most of our time there. The first thing I rode was the Flying Coaster, the roller coaster where there are upside-down spins and you lie in a horizontal, Superman-like position. I super enjoyed the Corkscrew, especially the second time in the mist, when you couldn't see a single thing, even when you're like upside down and you can only make out the track. I went on the Flying Coaster again right after the Corkscrew (syiok dah) and this time I went alone!

The bad part was Genting kept ripping us off (pay extra for archery, haunted house, ripley's, flying coaster, flying experience, rock climbing, snowworld etc) and they closed some of the rides, like the Space Shot. Sighs. Ah well. My last Genting trip in a long time probably, so never mind.

I had a real great time with my sister and her boyfriend. Can't wait to go Damai Laut with the whole family next week. My last golden school holidays before two years of pure, solid, hell.

Monday, November 16, 2009


My name is Jacie Tan Cheng Hwee. My chinese name means "smart in a quiet way". My first name was created to rhyme with 'Jeannie' and 'Jamie'.

Jacie is a pretty tough name for some people to pronounce. 'Jessie' doesn't do it, neither do all those other ways you pronounce my name. 'JC' also sounds different than 'Jacie'. There's a very subtle difference. Like Anne of Green Gables once said, when you pronounce a name, you can see it being spelt out in your mind, and that makes all the difference in the world.

There are just some people who can say my name with a knack. Jacie. The way those rare people say it makes me feel so happy with my name, and they can make it sound so poetical, even for a two-syllable name. I love those people. They are just random individuals, and I've never told them, for I think they'd just look at me weirdly and never call me by name again. But the other day I discovered another one of these people, hence this post.

Or maybe it has nothing to do with the way they say my name, but more of the way I hear it. Sigh, I think it's the latter, meaning I'm just as weird as I think I am.

Back from camp

The good thing about being pessimistic about camp (to a limit) is you don't get disappointed - in fact, you come back thinking, "Well, that was better than I expected." Camp was alright, though I can't help thinking it was too much the same as last year's - after all, it was the same place with the same facilitator and the same things they wanted us to learn. The F1+2's weren't as annoying as I thought they'd be, but they generally weren't serious enough la, I wonder if they thought the whole thing was a joke.

I'm so tired, but grateful I didn't throw up - I couldn't sleep going up Fraser's so I was really nauseous - thank God we missed the gap, it gave me time to recover. Going down was fine - the whole bus slept. After all, in 3 days and 2 nights, we only slept a maximum of 7 hours accumalatively.

I came back from Fraser's at 4.45pm to find the whole house preparing dinner for Mark's parents. And they forgot that I had to go to church! They went without me in the morning. So I had to rush like mad for 5.30 mass, and I sat alone outside, because stupid Herman didn't bother to come find me. Sad. Sitting alone means nobody could keep me from falling asleep, so I had to keep slapping myself to keep awake.

Going Genting tmrw for 2 days for bonding time with sister and her boyfriend.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


I miss my girls.
I'm so enjoying life now, but I still miss them.
I'm only really talking to Li Sar right now.
I miss us FTIs.
Everytime something goes through my brain, like, ooh, nicole would love this.
Or, this would be so cha.
Or if joey were here, she'd fall over that.
Or this is so totally a TOOT moment for lis.

I've more to blog, especially about my RitzCarlton stay, but I'm too busy either playing Sims2, writing, reading, sleeping, playing PS2, watching Castle, or spending time with Jeannie who just came back. So I'd just like to post this. (:

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Bones fan

I begin to regret that I haven't watched ALL of the Bones episodes, only just about 80% of them. Should I go back to the beginning and watch them all? Wait. I can't do that anyway. I don't have the episodes! Sigh. The reason for my Bones-mania? I went and searched all those 'shippers' fan videos on youtube between Booth and Brennan. Oh, and also because Bones replaced Criminal Minds on NTV7. I love this series. God. And I love all the people in it, too!

The Cast of Bones

Temperance Brennan, Bones herself
Seeley Booth, the FBI agent, whom I love so much

Cam, the boss

Angela, the pretty one

Hodgins, guy who likes bugs

Zack, currently in jail, God I miss him

Dr. Sweets, the psychologist

Wendell, my favourite intern


Monday, November 2, 2009

Penang Trip #2

This time I went down to send grandma back, and without my sister. Which meant I wasn't squashed half to death sitting in the middle and I got the whole of the backseat to myself coming home. What I ate was pretty much the same amount as last week, just with different food. MY SUSU TARIK WAS CLOSED! WHICH IS JUST THE SADDEST THING EVER!

But it was a really enjoyable trip, all the same - guess who I saw in Penang? Hahah. I was walking in some place that resembled Jaya One here when I suddenly got a call from Benny. I couldn't believe it, because I knew what was happening then! Hehe, I'd walked past a restaurant where he was eating. Lol! Penang's a small island. Tiny, really.

The drive back was scary - it was like, raining so super heavily visibility was almost zero. I stayed up to keep my dad company. The rain went on for like, two hours, which is very long to be driving when you can hardly see. And I have a question: Who taught Malaysian drivers to drive with the emergency lights on in heavy rain? Is it normal to do that? Because it's bloody annoying to squint through the windscreen, trying to see the road when all you can see are those irksome flashing yellow lights.

Oh, and I saw a burning car on the opposite side of the road. All I could see of the car was the metal frame already turning black, the windows all gone, and it was scary. I nearly burned my face trying to take a video - I could feel the heat from inside our car. Ignore the "ohmygods". It was a long drive. Burning cars tend to be rather interesting.

What I ate in Penang last week

I come back from Penang the second time, now only got mood to blog about last week. Hmm... I hope I don't miss anything out... This is what my family and I ate in Ipoh and Penang, Sat/Sun. I'm going to bold out all the must-haves.

I ate a bit at this sucky rest stop in Rawang
Stopped in Ipoh to eat at our regular coffee shop, where we've been going for years, which is the ORIGINAL OLD TOWN COFFEE SHOP
- kaya toast, soup koay teow, iced coffee, fish balls
Wanted to try the coffee shop opposite, so went there immediately after the first coffee shop
- iced coffee, kaya toast

- Assam laksa, koay teow th'ng (at Penang Rd), barley, huar chi, yellow jelly thingy in gula melaka

- Coconut water, tau kuah, prasembur, all at Padang

Bak porridge, koay teow th'ng, o'chien, longan water, chee cheong fun, muaci

SUSU TARIK!!!!!!!!!!!

Lots of wholemeal char xiu pau, bread with homemade kaya, Hokkien mee, around 6 cups of coffee (all at my great-aunts house)

Three Sisters' char koay teow (to die for!)

I can't remember what else I had after that, I think it was more coconut water at Padang. Yumm.