Monday, April 26, 2010


Aunty Ho asked me for an update.
And I condescend.
Because I don't know what to write (nah, I don't know what to write that isn't moany and draggy), I shall write about the movie, Australia.

It was nothing like what I expected. Silly me, for expecting the whole story to be one about an awe-inspiring cattle-driving journey through the desert where Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman fall in love and live happily ever after. God, this movie is loaded, with history, politics, monopoly, racism, geography, exploitation, sacrifice, gossip, spite, insanity, family, death, Aborigine culture, and, most devastatingly, WWIIThis movie is deep. If you take the time to decipher their Aussie accents and British slang (on Nicole Kidman's part, haha, an Aussie faking a Brit accent), you'll get that this movie is no freakin' joke. I chose to try and stay aloof from all these horrible aspects of the movie, but I cried anyway because I couldn't help it. Being me, watching any movie, is no fun. I get so immersed I will just bawl my eyes out, or I can get depressed.

Moving on!

My sister is an avid fan of Hugh Jackman. She thinks him amazingly handsome and hot. I never shared that sentiment. I watched the first half of Australia and got that some people might find him dyingly attractive. I mean, I understood that he is attractive, just not to me.

But the second half!

It started when he was wearing a suit and dancing, clean-shaven at last. But that wasn't it. It was when he started the grow back the beard, but this time, you could actually see the face. And he didn't look like he hadn't bathed in really long. And he started to get into the romantic, love-struck, grief-ridden, revenge-driven part of his character. (And I realise that he's taller than Nicole Kidman, which is a plus, because, how can the lead male be shorter than the heroine?) Hugh Jackman is hot. Hugh Jackman is sexy. All right, all right, I love Hugh Jackman now!

Would want a Hugh Jackman picspam, but I couldn't find any good pics of him in the movie other than the ones in his sex scene or his bathing scene. :S So, we make do.

I'mma have to re-watch it.

Friday, April 23, 2010


I saw this book in Borders, and was immediately attracted by its cover. Yes, I actually read this book just because of its cover, a first for me.
Usually, when I want a book, I speed-read it at the bookstore first. Yeah, I do that. Sorry. My parents don't really buy me a lot of books. Only if I like the book, than I'll get it. I'd have to. I'm someone who can read a favourite dozens of times (if you know me you'll know I'm not kidding). Obviously no time for Borders right now, so, I downloaded it off the Internet. Yes, I feel bad, butit's a whopping RM53.90. I'm not willing to risk that much on a book that might turn out to be crap.

Anyway, back to the book. I downloaded it yesterday evening. (It made me bloody hell stay up past midnight reading it and caused me to have a weird dream which made me go back to sleep after being woken up by my alarm and mom to continue dreaming as is my habit, making me late to school by 15 seconds, no kidding. FML.) So, after an accumalative 6.5 hours of leisurely reading, I've finished it the 420 A4-pg book today.

And I still haven't made up my mind.

Fallen is the first book in the four-book series, and the only one that's been published. It's like Twilight in many ways. Two immortal gorgeous guys fighting over one clueless human girl, who is inexplicably drawn to one of them. It also reminds me of a shittily lousy book called Marked, which is in a "House of Night" series. However, Fallen has angels, not vampires or smelly werewolves.

Does that put you off already?

But here's the thing. I think if I ignore its similarities to Twilight, and ignore the fact that it's of that genre, and that it's not a good, deep book you'd be proud of reading, I think I would love Fallen. (Same goes for Twilight, actually.) The story has good supporting characters, Daniel Grigori sounds hot and the girl is a little bit less dumb than Bella Swan.

But the guy who takes Jacob Black's place in this book, I hate just as much as I hate Jacob Black.


Sunday, April 18, 2010

Happy birthday

Philip Tay

I don't know what to say about him. He's the type of Christian I want to be. No, he's not perfect, but I really think he's a great example of someone who's doing God's work. He really is an excellent person, and people like him make me glad to be a disciple of Christ. He's a deep thinker, intelligent and hardworking and so totally not lan c like other thirty-five-year old deep-thinking intelligent people.

He's also one of the weirdest people I've ever met. Refer to the picture above, which I stole from Facebook. But that's not his display picture. Because Uncle Peeeeleeep here uses comics for all his dps, and wallpapers as well. Calvin&Hobbes, Garfield, Groo, and Dilbert are ones I've seen. He likes to mumble unintelligible strings of chants to scare me, he looks like Garfield when he's had a decent night's sleep, and like a panda the rest of the time. He lives in near Zoo Negara and I like to make fun of the mini-fridge in his "house". He looks funny when he has to hold his handphone up to his nose to read text messages because he can't see them properly. He looks even funnier when he gets infections from sleeping in rural places where he has to go for work.

I should stop. Because I don't think I'll give Philip this link anyway, he'll just mumble his weird chant-y thingy at me. I mean, he didn't even tell me it was his birthday today, I found out because I read a text message on his phone. )= Thanks for the Guylian chocolates from Langkawi, Philip, and the awesome session today, and for giving them to me on your birthday.

Oh oh oh.


Friday, April 16, 2010

Managed to get into the car before the tears started flowing.
Something that I thought was funny, or at least, tried to make a joke out of, just isn't all so funny anymore.
I mean, I didn't want any more unnecessary things bringing me down.
But it's just unfair you know, and I'm not a very stable kind of person.
How could someone be so mean?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


I hate bio.
Right now, it's been awarded MostHatedScienceSubject.
(Don't worry Chem and Phy, you'll win again soon.)
Let's not go into why I hate bio, all right?
Because then I'd have to draw out a whole mind map here.
I don't like Ms. Annie, because she treats Bio like oh-epicness-of the world, and she thinks everyone should feel that way, and she's damned fussy anyway. I feel she doesn't like me, because, well, she can probably sense that I don't like Bio. And I think she just can't process that. I think she has it in for me. Always calling me and picking on me. She criticizes my work, and when I saw my Bio remarks and was so happy and having scored an A- (or wassit an A, idk, around there la) she just said, "Jacie could work harder, you're just not trying hard enough, not bothering to put enough effort."

So lately, I have decided to buck up in Bio class to please Ms. Annie. I focus my mind in biological things, even if they're not on the syllabus. So, I asked her a question the other day. If I skinned a human alive, how long would it take for that human to die. Interesting question right? Bio-related somemore. But she didn't even answer me. Just stared at me weird. So today, I decided to not ask her any questions. I paid really close attention to her. I had my eyes locked on her face and everything, since that's the way she likes students to behave in class. But then I got distracted by her facial expressions, and the way she always, always, always frowns. I felt an impulse to conduct an experiment of my own, and I did. I started frowning just like her. Just as I was wondering how in the world she could see by frowning like that, lo and behold!

"Jacie! What's the matter with your eyes? Why are you doing that?"
(Shit case, man. It's not like I could say, I'm trying to frown like you do.)
"It's my contacts, teacher. They're really dry."
"...shouldn't really...ruin your corneas..."
Couldn't even remember what she said to me, shows how bad I am in her class.

Dancing again today.
It's fun because I force myself to have fun and because no-one has come up to me to point out how totally hopeless I am.
For which I am grateful.
I already know I'm bad, so no need to say it to my face, alright?

Oh, and you can see how slacky and sucky I've been this year, so how, how, how did I get first in class again?!
Mr. Elvin, you may be AddMaths teacher #1, but I think you messed up the calculations.

Friday, April 9, 2010


I am getting very stressed thinking about when I leave school.
But I am handling it well enough, so no need to tell me to chill, dear friends ;)
Actually, I'm having a lotta fun going through my options.
Even if they might not actually BE options for me.
I'm still having fun, once I can ignore the fact that I am really a hapless person.
I love discussing it all.
It makes me have something to look forward to, so hopefully the next year and 8 months will pass quicker.
So, this is basically a hint.
Anyone want to listen to my dreary dreams? I'll hear yours if you hear mine.

In case you were wondering, I'mma doing my A-levels, English in Literature 100% being one of the subs, and I really want to do my undergrad also in Eng Lit or English Language in the UK. UK has been something of a dream for me - all these years, always striving to be top, the only thing that drove me was trying to get into Oxford University.

People, I just revealed a really important secret to you.

Being now older and more practical, I see Oxford is way outta my league in so many ways, but I haven't given up the UK dream.

But so many things are always in the way...

You know, this was never supposed to be a post on what I wanted or what I couldn't have. It's just an update on what's up with me, so I'mma go back to browsing colleges now.

*Edited list

I edited the list, adding sleep earlier.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Formspring me!


God, I'm wasting time online again.

P.S. for the uninitiated, formspring is a site where you can ask someone a question either anonymously or using your formspring account.

I will...

I have constructed a to-do list.
Resolutions, if you will. I don't care, I'm gonna do my best to fulfill them all.
They're not in any particular order.

  1. Eat breakfast, recess and tea to prevent my gastric from recurring.
  2. Stop eating supper - at least before my birthday.
  3. Eat more grains and fruits and drink more water.
  4. Do my 90 crunches daily.
  5. Go out for a walk at least once a week.
  6. Exercise more.
  7. Stop wasting time online for pathetic reasons.
  8. Stop going online everyday - only 3 weekdays and no onlining on Saturday.
  9. Stop staying online for pathetic reasons.
  10. Start studying seriously for mid-years.
  11. Sleep earlier.
  12. See this dancing thing through to the end, no matter how bad an idea it is.
  13. Complete all my homework by THIS weekend.
  14. Clean up my room.
  15. Clear out my wardrobe.
  16. Take better care of my skin.
  17. Start focusing on how to act my age - birthday's coming up.
  18. Be more responsible in helping my parents.
  19. Be more serious in school.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


Got this beautiful note, if you will, that I think is really sweet.
It's from a girl to a guy that she's in love with. I mean, it's really really really quite beautiful.
But I'm not gonna post it here.
I mean, nanti org salah faham.
What do you think?
Feedback, oh ever-dormant readers.
You know, recently I found out more of you read my blog than I think.

Formspring me!

Yeah, ask me a question, any question, and don't stop.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Good Friday Mass

Good Friday mass today. Blogging about the mass, not Lent or Holy Week, guess that'll come later. Quite a lot to tell, I am Roman Catholic ;)

I really felt it, this mass. Didn't got to church expecting to, but I did. The music was great, and I think that was the contributing factor. I take my hat off to the musicians today. Now, why can't you others do the music like that every week?

Fr. Albert usually does his homily by telling a story - or parable, haha - and then summing it up. Here is the story, as best as I could remember:

John and Thomas were identical twins. They were alike in many ways; they had the same shade of hair and their mannerisms were much the same. When the twins were twelve, their parents died, leaving them orphans. John, the elder twin by just a few minutes, was the responsible one. He studied hard and did all that was needed for him and his brother. Meanwhile Thomas grew rebellious. He mixed with the wrong company and got into a lot of trouble.

John grew up to become a respectable person with a good, honest job and steady income. But Thomas had joined gangs and were always involved with fights; he was a very hot-tempered young man now. He had so much anger and unresolved issues that came from his parents' death that he couldn't deal with. John always tried to advise his brother but to no avail.

One night, Thomas came running home with his clothes bloodstained and all a mess. He was sobbing and looked terrified. He told John that he had been involved in a fight with his gang-member and in a fit of anger had killed the other man. He had murdered the younger brother of the chief of his own gang. Thomas knew that the chief and all his gang-members would now be after him, and would not rest until they had avenged the death of the chief's younger brother. John tried to convince Thomas to report the matter to the police, but Thomas would not, knowing he would go to jail. John then said quietly that he was grieved to hear the news, and would provide support to his brother in whichever way he could, and for now it was best to go to bed.

That night, when Thomas went to bed, John left the house. But before he did so, he dressed in his brother's bloodstained clothes and left him a note.

The gang-members caught John and beat him up until he was black and blue all over. Then they hung him from a prominent place and stabbed him multiple times until he died.

Thomas woke in the morning to find his brother gone. He was about to read the note when the police came, asking Thomas to come and identify his brother's body.

This is what the note said:
My dear brother, I love you very deeply. Live your life in the best for me.

Is it enough for Thomas to just feel the guilt the way his brother was beaten? Is it enough for Thomas to feel remorse for John's sufferings? Is it enough that he will just continue his life while John had been stabbed to death?

Fr. Albert did it much better than me, esp the last part, but I did it the best I could.
Something I thought I might share with you all.
It was the first time a homily made me cry.

Friday, April 2, 2010



Chalystha Lee Yie Qin, happy birthday.
Happy sweet sixteenth.
Is it customary to write really sweet things about the birthday girl on her birthday?
I'll keep it short.
You're a really special, talented person who has so much more potential to realise.
Oh, and by the way?
It'll be the easiest fifty bucks you've ever earned.

Thursday, April 1, 2010


Today, I was still feeling a bit sad (because I didn't want to come to school) and Fatin seemed to notice it when I went and sat down next to her. But she attributed it all to the wrong reasons.

Fatin, me.
Are you in love?
You're in love right?
You look so sad.
I know, I am.
You fought with you lover?
What? NO.
Boyfriend trouble issit?

I cheered up sufficiently to ask Kalia to write on my hand with beautiful artistry (she just scribbled, oh, evil Kalia) Aragorn's name, and then I wrote it again 2 more times, so if I had "Aragorn" written across my hand horizontally in three different fonts, all aligned nicely.

I know my life is sad, but doing saddening things like this makes me happy, so I have to do them, for my own good.

And then during Bio Cha grabbed my right hand and said, I want to put my name there also. I said yes because I thought she would write it nice and small like my Aragorn's are written. But then she grabbed my hand, started a C somewhere in the middle of the back of it, and then continued up past my wrist, ending with a heart.


I wouldn't describe all this if I could locate my Bluetooth thingy andI could upload a pic.

Anyway, before I managed to take a bath, my dad spotted it.

dad: (really loudly) WHAT IS THAT?!
I jump a foot. WHAT?!
*dad points*
OH. Er. Something Cha drew on me?
dad: you have to receive communion today, you'd better wash it off.

Which reminds me, I have to go to church so I should get off my ass typing crap over here and go do my homework.

One last thing: I shall think of my dress everytime I feel sad.

Jonah Day

Yesterday was a real Jonah Day, all right.
I have the whole post saved in Drafts.
I was about to post it when a flashback of the horror I could feel emanating from Joey and Jocelyn yesterday (whether they realised it or not) played through in my mind.
Nah, wouldn't want to scare/bore my few readers away.

But I thought I was healed.

Ah well, I'm all right now, except for certain very annoying people like XinYou (sorry!) and Edbert who like to dredge it up again, except NOT in the way I remember it, basically it wasn't their fault, seeing as they never knew the full story, but honestly they should be glad they don't know the whole sopping sad tale of my life anyway.