Li Sar's bash

I had loadsa fun.

Really, it was a blast.

Even better than I expected.

Hope I came out nice in the horrible candid snaps that were flashing all around me.

And I think I've garnered enough waitressing experience to last me a lifetime.

Taking down everyone's order, complete with price, was a task in itself.

But the collecting the money, calculating tax, giving change to the knuckleheads who gave me fifty's, and a Rm540+ bill among 21 teenagers was the worst.

Still, it was fun!! The party I mean, not the waitressing.

Happy pretended birthday, Li Sar.

Pictures should be coming out here.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?ref=profile&id=630938576

Sydney White

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT, PEOPLE.

HRM Jacie Tan Cheng Hwee has found another movie to add to her list of totally-rewatchable-movie-favourites-that-are-so-worth-obsessing-over.

I love it so, so much.

It's one of those movies like A Walk To Remember or The Prince and Me from that era, which people might call cheesy because there are no special effects like from Avatar, but are so worth watching anyway.

I didn't even mind Amanda Bynes, whom I generally dislike.

The storyline was awesome, a modern remake of Snow White.

And the guy? I need to rewatch the show, I kept getting major hyperventilation attacks everytime he appeared, I couldn't hear what he was saying, which was a shame, because what he was saying was really substantial.

The best part? It was one of those movies that made me think.

Made me want to become a better person.

And inevitably, made me hate my life, but also made me want to change it.

*warning*

major tyler prince (matt long) picspam coming up

School

Today was awesome, we didn't study at ALL, so awesome, I'm going to colour-font this post.

Pn. Maha didn't come, Mr. Elvin let us do decorations and PEKA,

we prolonged a visit to the dentist for Modmaths, and BM had a class party for the two leaving our midst, Ahmad Aiman and Brian Khor.

If there was to be a complaint about those two periods of BM, it would go something like this:

Dear Pn. Pengetua,

I would like to complain about class 4A. There was a lot of yelling and screaming of two names in particular, "Aiman!", "Brian!" and for some reason, "Hidayah!". The class had the two boys stand up and make speeches. During Aiman's speech, there was a universal, deafening cry of "Stuuuupid Aiman". During Brian's speech, there were shoes and various items being thrown at him. Then, a boy got up and poured water on Brian, causing the floor to be wet. After that various individuals were requested to make speeches, loud screams and claps and cheers accompanying each and every demand. At one point, the whole class of 4A stood up and began singing the "Negaraku" from beginning to end with more patriotism than ever could be shown at assemblies, for no apparent reason whatsoever. Once the bell rang, a full-out waterfight occured, creating an enormous puddle outside the classroom, and throughly soaking one of the class doors.

Awesome day at school, 7 free periods straight, with a double-period party at the end.

But Aiman, I really will miss you. Nearly cried during your speech. How could you leave us, dude? You're an essential part of the Jejarum backdrop. Same class since F1.

Brian, all those nice things I said about you in class were just lies.

Sweat case

Sweat case gila sweat.

My parents are so sweat.

Every morning I put my alarm before 6.30 or so,

and my mom comes in at 6.45 in case I oversleep or whatever.

So I was in the middle of a dream when my mom comes in and says,

"Jacie it's seven o'clock already wake up" and leaves.

I bolt upright, shocked, because I always panic when I get woken up without my alarm ringing.

I mean, usually I'd snooze it or if I slept through it it would just ring again in 15 mins or something.

So I grabbed my phone and stared at the time.

It was 4.15 am.

I went to my parents' room to stare at the Astro decoder to get a second opinion (switching on the light to stare at a normal clock was out of the option). My mom was in the bathroom, my dad getting up.

You know what I saw on the decoder screen?

Ch 702

I push the standby button. The screen then displayed

0415

My parents woke me up at four in the morning today because they thought the channel being displayed was the time.

ROFLMAO.

Hallmark, it's all your fault.

HIG club

Jamie: How was school?

Jacie: Fun.

My sister stares. School has been anything but fun for me lately.

The key to it all:

HIG Club.

President: Nicole Low

Vice President: Chalystha Lee

Secretary: Recently fired

Treasurer: Recently fired

Hig Resources: Jacie Tan =p
Jocelyn Leong (member)

Joey Kee (probate)

Ng Li Sar (probate)

Sorry if I got it wrong, the President change mind so many times I couldn't keep up.

All we need now is to make it an official club.

Girls would be lining up to join, yo.

Mr. Kumaresan, you'd agree, wouldn't you?

You could be our... mascot.

ROFLMAO.

Emma

Emma, Emma.

I needed it, but still, I'm slightly sorry.

Sigh.

A mistake made is a lesson learned.

Emma, Emma.

Sunday

So tired.

Yesterday school, then today 5 hours in church.

Exhausted, stomach cramps too, I think...

Argh. School til 2.30 tmrw, than board meeting.

Then crash home, do hw, crash, tuesday till 2.30, koko, then tuition, then crash.

When does it stop?

HUIJAN!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUI JAN!

Sorry, need to rush for tuition, can't post much, but happy birthday anyway!

+

Realised I never said what HuiJan and SzeLi said.

They said my eyes looked looked like they've got eyeliner on when there isn't.

Which doesn't really matter, my sister and Joey said that it's true, Joey seeming incredulous apparently, that it's news to me, but it is.

My eyes have never been anything but sepet, no one's ever told me anything but that.

It's the little things in life, you know, that make it worth living.

Update

It takes effort, people, to blog, when you have as much homework as we do.

School's pretty okay now, because R&S is actually better than duty (if only En. Azmi stops assuming that I'm put there to be his personal slave/errand-runner!)

And of course, there is all the excitement for the upcoming sweet sixteens,

and I finally saw Nic's HIG today.

Awkward moment:

nicole, jacie, ms. annie, FTIs

jacie! jacie! ask her! ask her!

ask her wad?

ask her what is she!

ask ms annie what is she?

yes! what race! ask her argh!

miss annie... I have something to ask you. hahahaha.

you have something to ask me, and then you laugh?

err *chickens out* what's your full name?

why? I'll give you later. It's hard to spell.

*hazards random guess* you Portuguese ar teacher?

*looks seriously offended*

NO! I'm Indian! Why? Someone asked me if I was Chinese, can you imagine? I'm Indian!

*trade awkward looks*

If you've seen Ms. Annie, it's not hard to imagine. She does not not not look pure Indian, in fact Mr. Elvin looks more malay than she looks Indian.

Btw, this is not meant to be funny. It's awkward.

I hope Ms. Annie isn't offended. Sorry teacher!

Pn. Norma already hates me. I don't need another one on the list.

OH, AND HUIJAN AND SZE LI COMMENTED ON MY EYES TODAY.

NOT ABOUT THEIR SEPETED-NESS, EITHER.

OMG I LOVE THEM.

I WAS SO SO SO TOUCHED WHEN THEY TALKED ABOUT THEM AND DIDN'T SAY THEY WERE ULTIMATELY SMALL.

I DON'T HAVE THE GUTS TO TELL YOU GUYS TO YOUR FACE (because you would just think I'm weird) BUT THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!

It means so much to me. Really.

Today!

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

My friends, my friends.

FTIs forever.

It was so unlikely that we would be lumped together, and the fact that we were shows that it was fate.

I may remember this more than I ought, but once we start talking, it doesn't even matter.

You are the only people I'd spend all day stirring salt with.

God. I realised we spent the free periods today talking about guys, inadvertently.

And horrible mental pictures.

Luckily, nothing to do with me either way, but still...

Non-whiny update

Lols, went to Joey's blog and then Cha's, have I been writing alot about whiny teenagers lately?

*checks post list*

Oh. Yes, I have.

Ah wells.

I like it when I see people read my blog.

Because I strongly believe only Hui Jan does.

xD

My mom, on a whim, or so it seems to me, told me to go for Bible Knowledge this Sunday.

Which left me gaping at her, because all this while it's like not been an option to her for me.

But what the heck.

I'll just go.

Up

Yesterday marked the first day in 5 consecutive days I did not cry.

(:

Like I said, the people who made me really feel normal, even for just a second, are the most unlikely ones in the world.

Few examples:

Taylor Swift

Chen Xin You

Haw Yu Hong

Tharini

Pn. Sarala

En. Azemi

***** ****

AND I'M FINALLY FEELING HUNGRY AGAIN!!

Bubble

Thought I was going fine today, really was. I was happy and all that, even when I rushed back home at 2.30 to eat lunch and come back for Ed Board meeting, and then went home at 4 to hurry and bathe for BM tuition (which was great, fun, and for the first time, not utterly silent) at 5, which I came back from via motorbike to quickly have dinner and then go to Bandar Utama for add maths tuition at 8.30. But I'll stop there, because add maths tuition was when I stopped feeling happy. Like all sane people, they were doing Chap 1, whereas unlucky me, student of the totally insane Mr. Elvin, had finished Chap 4 and was just getting befuddled in Chap 2. I was kept aside, since I was a new student, and I felt like the kid with Down syndrome who has to be taught special lessons separately by the teacher. Ooh, btw, he's quite nice. He reminds me of my great-uncle.

I nearly died trying to figure out Chap 1 for the first time while my queries about Chap 2 went unanswered, besides no one was talking to me, and I got one of my mathematics-induced major full-on headaches.

My parents, on picking me up, insisted on taking me out for supper. Two weeks ago I would have jumped at the chance for food. Now I tried to hedge out of it, but they insisted, so I went. And I ate, and I did enjoy the food. How nice of my mom and dad. They probably noticed I was pretty screwed up lately. Well, of course they did. Crying unprovoked at dinner isn't very subtle.

But I'm improving, really I am. Things people say, or how they act around me, or what they don't say, even if they do it subconsciously or intentionally, are helping me out. Most of these people don't even know who they are. But thanks, all the same. I don't exactly like being a whiny nutcase.

Jewel, You were meant for me:

...Put on my pjs and hop into bed

I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead

I try and tell myself it'll be all right

I just shouldn't think anymore tonight 'cause...

Crawling

When I got through add maths without a headache, and managed to survive physics despite missing half the lesson, I thought the day was going to be great. After all, I only had Mod Maths and English left, what the heck, even I wasn't so much of a wreck as to ruin my day with those 2 subjects. Unfortunately, I should have kept a rein on my triumph, even if I only thought it to myself. Says Tamora Pierce, the gods don't like happy mortals. So somehow, I had a minor breakdown during modern maths.

Because the teacher made me cry.

I was doing fine, talking with Lis and Joey, and then I decided to ask the teacher (who shares Hafizah's impractical theory of doing all the questions in the textbook) to show me to do something. By the by, she's not very good. She doesn't know how to solve 67 200 divide by 120. Never mind that. We all make mistakes. Anyways, I asked her a question, and she came over with her red pen. And then she started scribbling in my book. I told her I had paper, and that it wasn't necessary. She said she wanted to. But she was scribbling in the empty space where I wanted to write, and I am neurotic when it comes to keeping my notes nice. Because I do like to revise from decent-looking texts, and scribbles all over my page in red ink is not my idea of decent. Plus, she was trying to figure out the answer, and in doing so, kept crossing out her working when she got it wrong.

I guess I overreacted. I begged her not to, covered the book, and told her I understood. Okay, I know for sure I overreacted. I told her I had symptoms of OCD and tried to offer her another book to scribble in. But she was unstoppable, and in the end I just let her write over my page. I'm not that rude, I still sort of respect her as a teacher. But when she left I took Jocelyn's advice and ripped out the page, and redid many questions. After putting my head down and sobbing for pretty long. No one noticed, except Lis and Joey I think, and I soon pulled myself together. It was neurotic, I know, and probably stupid. But you must understand I've been rather unstable lately. More than rather unstable. Over the weekend I've been having crying spells, and I've not really been eating.

When Jacie stops eating, you know there's something really wrong.

But I'm doing better. I'm dealing with the tuition and the studies, and I'm on the path to recovery from that other thing. I'm going to stop being neurotic. I'm going to pull myself together. No one needs to worry. People go through this all the time. Especially people like me.

Please don't despise me, I can't help being high-strung. I'm sorry I suck. Please don't hate me. ):

Thanks LiSar for ignoring my tears today and for that other thing, and sorry Joey if I scared you, but you said I didn't, so that's okay.

Denial

A promise broken is a heart crushed.

I'm sorry. Not doing so good.

Drowning at sea

I'm sinking into desolation

Into waters deep and black

I try to stop and cling at life

But I get pulled in with a smack.

Now I can't breathe or see

Is this death that calls to me?

Because if it is, I'm about to find out

As I slowly drown in the sea.

Not so good, huh? But it was just something that came to me.

Weird, that I should have thought of this on Monday as Joey and Nic were hyper-ing.

I'm calling it "Drowning At Sea".

I like "Inspiration" better.

I knew I said no more emo-ness, but I wanted just this little bit more.

Just rip out my heart, why don't you? Oh, I forget. You don't want it.

Rant

Some of you may be noticing that I don't update anymore. The few dears who read my blog have probably gone away in view of the fact I don't update. Therefore, me writing this in the first place is completely pointless.

Sorry, sorry. I'm not updating because I don't want to be an emo blogger, and nowadays I can't write without being emo. (Does this count as a properly optimistic sentence?)

I hate school. I never thought I'd come to this, hating my very own Samad, whining about school, about studies, about teachers, how stressed and horrible my life is. I mean, how typically teenager-ish, right? Something I'd always scorned. But how is it that it always comes out that what you scorn is what you'll become? But anyway, it's perfectly ludicrous that we should be complaining. As dear friend Philip has pointed out when I was ranting to him, when he was younger, all those decades back (exaggeration, sorry) he had to cycle to and fro school, help his dad out at the shop, and cook his own lunch and all.

So I admitted to him that teenagers nowadays are all a hapless bunch, all whiners, really, and that very soon these teenagers would be adults, and what kind of adults would they be, not to mention parents, raising what type of kids God only knows, and that Judgement Day is looming nearer every day, and then he goes and tells me that I'm too cynical for my own good.

What?!

'cause I'm not. Right now, I'm a whiner, remember? So let me whine. I hate school. Not the school, actually, just school. If you've been following my Facebook statuses, you'll already know why. But if not, let me just list out a FEW:

1) School finishing at 2.30 p.m. is impractical, too long, and very bad for gastricky people like me.

2) The heat is terrible, especially at two o'clock.

3) The massive traffic jam makes me have to walk halfway up-hill with all my books.

4) BOOKS! Too many. Far too many to be lugging around.

5) I cannot believe I'm missing one period of studies every day.

6) I cannot believe I have to look after the F123s at the expense of my brain.

7) I cannot believe I have to duty for two recesses.

8) I cannot believe the books I want are sold out.

9) I cannot believe we are expected to study in humid, uncomfortable labs.

10) I cannot believe I am sitting so far back, with tall people in front.

11) The ministry has not let me know whether or not I can take Eng Lit.

12) I hate addmaths, moreover, I suck at it.

13) I even suck at modmaths.

14) I do not want En. Azemi to take over Pn. T. S. Tiam's job. Now, he's in charge of R&S.

15) I hate being in science stream.

16) I'm so dumb and slow, I need to go for tuition, so after school, what with all the homework, I need to go for tuition.

I think that's enough, don't you? More than enough. understand. People go through this all the time. Everyone's been there, done that. So why the hell am I WHINING?! Jacie, get a grip!

I have to stop this. I need to give myself a tight slap in the face. I need to stop being so shallow.

So...

Meeeeeeeeeow.

Haha! Sound more like myself? Hopefully, I do. I will no longer update until I have something more productive to say.

James

Had the crap funniest conversation with James just now. He told me a joke about a girl named Jacie. Which was funny la. Anyways, he then told me he was going to tell me racist jokes. I thought about warning him, but thought it might be funnier if I just let him continue. So he did.

1) The first joke was about the Roman Catholic church, about priests and bishops.

(Are you guys getting this?)

2) The next two jokes were about Indians.

(Get it now?)

Do you guys get this or not?

I was laughing my ass off, and not just because of the funny jokes.

It was because:

1) I am a Roman Catholic

2) I'm half Indian! (technically one quarter, but legally half)

If you count the first jacie joke, that is 4 jokes about me!

Thanks james, no one ever made 4 jokes about me in one night before. I'm flattered!

I'd planned to make an update about my sisterrrr, but, I think.... I'll wait abit first. Sorry. Using this casual post to mask the fact that she's gone for the next two years.