Explanation

Reading XinYou's blog post reminded me I never really blogged about what it was like, properly, receiving my results. Well, I don't think I could blog properly now anyway. My brain has shrunk since considerably these past few weeks.

How to put it? If I described my own feelings, it would be just: nerves. Maybe I wouldn't be freaking out as much as Miss Lee, but... it's hard to describe, after all.

I woke up, refusing to think much about what was coming later, and went out for breakfast with my family. I was literally glued to my phone, smsing XinYou who was to tell me when results were out and calling Chalystha who was shrieking at me several octaves above her normal speaking range.

I ate a lot at OldTown, in defiance, not nerves. Because Cha demanded to know how I could be eating at a moment like this, and I wanted to show my family, who were utterly bored with my nervousness, that I could handle myself with a little bit of... self-control. I slowed down considerably with my last piece of toast, but I told myself to get a grip.

Driving back home from OldTown Cafe, with Cha calling and begging me to go to school with her, I felt the tiniest twinge of regret of having glutted at breakfast. I pushed it away.

I had no idea what time it was, but it was taking too long. Too long. I went into my room to read and not stare at the clock. My sisters were relieved. They were sick of having me fret around them so much.

As I was reading, I realised something that made my heart skip a beat. My phone was not next to me. I ran out of my bedroom at top speed to go and get it when I ran right into my eldest sister, who was holding it out. I stare at the screen (GODDAMNIT, SHE'D ALREADY OPENED IT) and what do I see? A text from Xin You, saying: Hey they're giving results now.. *calm*

Was he asking me to calm down?!

Because if he was, it didn't work. I locked my arms around my sister's neck and climbed onto her back. Literally. My feet were off the floor, and I was clinging to her and all. Moment of pure jakhoon-ness. Luckily I managed to get off her as she began calling for help. I dashed to get decent and my mom, sisters and dog were packed into the car with me feeling slightly... desperate.

I needed to know... thank God school is just 2.5 minutes drive away from my house... My mom kept on asking me stuff along the line of "Where do we go?" and I was ignoring her... somehow I managed to tell her to drive up to Dewan Bakti... where I got her to stop and I flung myself out of the car... and I ran as fast as I could past the puddles and the drain at the side of Dewan Bakti without twisting an ankle - you know how it is - I saw people, and then, I seized... I don't know, one of the jejarum boys, I can't remember, and demanded he tell me which table to go to... and then I skidded over to Pn. Lean, where the first thing she said to me was... "Jacie ahr! Surely straight A's wan la! Sign here..."

I knew she'd say that.

I muttered something for the sake of muttering at her (old habits die hard) squiggled something that was not my signature, and then seized my result slip. I saw nothing but a line of A's.

Relief. Instantaneous relief. Relief so strong it overpowered the joy. Why? Well, surely you know. Pn. Lean's greeting statement sort of explains it.

Everything was light-headed for me, woozy after that. Really. I felt like throwing up. Seriously. I finally regretted eating so much. I wobbled over to my expectant sisters and cha, (Cha's first words being: "I bet you got straight A's, didn't you?"), still staring unseeingly at the paper. Jamie jokingly asked me to count the A's, something I told her I'd do. I tried to, using my finger to do so, and then I realised when Cha pointed it out that I was shaking. Very badly. All the relief in the world couldn't have replaced the great anxiety I'd been feeling.

I'll stop here. It's long enough. It was good to know all my hard work paid off, knowing that, after all I'd studied and slaved and sacrificed, God wasn't going to be so cruel to me. Still, it would have been nice to have felt a little bit more happiness than relief. But that's the price you pay for making sure you get good results - everyone takes your success for granted, and you have to worry double time, in case you really do fail.

Joy

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy now.

I'm so happy that everyone is so happy.

I got straight A's.

It's not unbelievable, but I'm just so happy and relieved.

Exhilarated.

(Ignore the part when I ran into the hall breathless and Pn. Lean said "Aiyah, you surely straight A's one la..")

I was waiting so long. Eating in OldTown... after that I regretted eating so much, I felt like throwing up, before and after I got my results.

But... I'm so happy. My parents got me a fondue pot... my dad say he had so much confidence he and mom but it beforehand, gave it to me when I got home from school.

I love my sisters, my family, my teachers, and friends.

Friends.

JOEY

NICOLE

CHALYSTHA

LI SAR

I love you guys, and I'm proud of you all.

One more thing

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Since I previously mentioned results in the last post, I can't resist.

Releasing the PMR results on the eve of Christmas Day is no less than blatant prosecution of Christians nationwide.

I'm just saying.

Cousins

I really don't want to post anything much other than about Gilbert but I might as well, since I'll be busy enjoying the last of my freedom, and childhood. (This is a touchy subject with me.) So I'll just... do a short post. Haha. Yes, rejoice, few readers of mine.

We had a partial family gathering the other day, with some of my large, extensive Penang family. The people in this pictures are as follows.

Bottom row: Cousin Vivian, Mark, Sister Jeannie, Cousin Adrian

Middle row: me, Sister Jamie, Cousin Lawrence

Top row: Aunt Ah Ewe, Cousin Derick

Three of these faces will be missing soon. My sister and Mark are taking off on the first of Jan, and Derick kor kor... my big brother in so many ways... the crazy cousin... the one who used to look like the caterpillar in Bug's Life... the one who drank Kickapoo from a soup bowl back in the day... the one who used to let me hang on his arm while he'd lift me off the floor... the one who used to bully me so... will be leaving for Australia, where he can go find Mandy jie jie, his girlfriend. Oh, and to study too. If you knew him, you'd understand why I'd miss him so. Hurh. If I could write out the things he says and the things he does you would pretty much LYAO. Maybe. Maybe I will.

Didn't mean to post this and take attention away from my Gil post, but I'm just writing because I'll be busy later. Sis' birthday, results, Christmas, sister leaving.

Anne movies, and Gilbert Blythe

Everyone should know I've always wanted to be like Anne, just like Anne, ever since I read the books. So my sister and Mark got me an early Christmas present, the 3 Anne movies on DVD: Anne of Green Gables (1985), Anne of Green Gables: The Sequel, and Anne of Green Gables: The Continuing Story. The first was alright. It followed the story line. The second I fast forwarded through a lot, because there was hardly any Gilbert in it, and I didn't really like the storyline, which was loosely based on some of the books, which I didn't much fancy either... The third was ghastly. It was okay, because there was Gilbert there, but... it took so long for them to actually get married even when they were engaged, because... gah, it hurts me to think about it... and when they do get hitched... Gil goes off to war... and Anne follows him... and there's this annoying spy who's in love with her... and I miss Gilbert, who becomes a POW... anyway, I still liked it, even though this time the movie was entirely NOT based on the bok.

Megan Follow's physique for Anne is wrong, but her acting is great. Well, you can't expect every character to look like how you thought they should look, so I was pretty patient while watching the movie with all the characters who didn't fit and all the created story lines.

But I have no complaints about Gilbert Blythe. I love Gil. I want to be Anne so I can marry Gil. I fell in love with Gilbert Blythe the minute my eyes first rested on his name, spelled out on the page of my book. When I was, I don't know, in primary school. What's so surprising? I fell in love with Aragorn on paper too, and Tolkien didn't even give me a proper description of him.

Anyway, dedicating this post to Gilbert now.

This is Gil when he was haha, thirteen?

Poor Gil. So in love with Anne.

And yet always rejected.

Drools..

My poor Gil after being a prisoner-of-war for years.

Ladies and gentlemen, Gilbert Blythe.

A Gil quote, from the book: "...there never could be anyone else for me but you. I've loved you ever since that day you broke your slate over my head in school."

Yes, because sadly Anne smashed a slate, or a miniature blackboard, over Gilbert Blythe's head the first time they met, 14 years before he married her, and broke it.

Then she wouldn't talk to him for five years, and then became friends with him for four years, after which she got scared when he said he loved her, so she left him again for two years, finally realised she belonged with him and got engaged and waited three more years. If you went according to the movie, two days after the wedding he went off to war for another four more years or so.

new moon

I finally did it - I went and got it over with. Not because I wanted to - but because I didn't want to watch Puteri+Katak. And I wanted to watch a movie, to commemorate the outing. So I went and watched new moon with sisters+their bfs. (No, niclow, I did not feel sad and sesat.) It wasn't as annoying as I expected, but boring instead. To be fair, I shall do what Cha did and list out all pros and cons, or I'd just list out the cons.

To be fair...

+ Kristen Stewarts' lips are visible instead of just not there.

+ They taught KS to keep her mouth closed, instead of going around with it open.

+ She did her nightmaring well - and the part when she was running in Italy.

+ The directing, camera stuff and acting were much better than Twilight.

+ Edward's wardrobe improved.

+ Victoria's cool.

+ I had loadsa fun laughing at Jacob's hair before he cut it.

+ I loved Alice having more screen time.

+ Esme looked lovely; so did Carlisle.

+ Jasper had more screen time. I love Jasper.

+ Dakota Fanning as Jane! I wish I could be like Jane.

+ I had fun laughing at the Volturri dude on the left - the one who looked like Lucius Malfoy.

+ They didn't show Rosalie's fat @$$. Hah.

+ Cha is right. Alec is cute; cuter than Edward and Jacob, obviously.

+ Among the 5 of us watching, I was the only one whose chair did not get kicked. Sorry, this doesn't count.

What I really think...

- Rob Pat should keep his shirt on. Seriously. It's almost obscene.

- Bella should have asked Jacob, "Dude, where's your shirt?"

- Sam is fat. Too fat. He looks like a Samadian boy who should keep his shirt on.

- Jacob's wolfy friends are cuter than him.

- Jacob is annoying.

- They killed Harry. I LIKED HIM!

- They should have made Jane dress up cooler.

- Alec sounded superficial instead of hot, and he is hot.

- The part where Bella and Edward were running in the future was... lame beyond description.

- It's too coincidental that Bella would fall into the water right where Victoria was.

- The wolves are fake!

- It was draggy and boring.

- What's with Jake Black standing half naked in the middle of the road?

- They didn't spike Alice's hair enough.

- What did they do to Jasper's hair?!

- I'd love to write more, but my fingers are getting tired.

Overall, this movie helped remove some of my prejudice against Bella and Jacob. Maybe I can finally read the book properly now - I always wanted to, but I was afraid for my health. I think if twilight wasn't loved by millions worldwide, I would love it myself.

Waitress

I watched the first ten minutes of the show in Damai Laut (zomg I haven't blogged about that yet, I'm such a lazy ass) and finished it off today. It stars Keri Russell who reminds me of that pretty Hallmark actress and Nathan Fillion (CASTLE!).

I hated the ending. *spoilers alert* They shouldn't have put Dr. Pomatter as a married guy. Then he could have ended up with her. Zzzz. I tell you ar, these people don't know how to write a decent ending anymore. The main reason why people watch movies like this is to get the happy ending they wouldn't get in real life.

It's pretty funny though. The other waitresses and Cal and Joe were really amusing. But the husband was just... TOOT.

The best line in the movie was this: "Dawn, you look beautiful! Your skin looks like a normal person's!"

P.S. Nathan Fillion is adorable.

2012

Twenty-twelve. That's how it's pronounced, people, you really shouldn't read it out as two-zero-one-two. Anyway, it is one movie which is really really awesome, and not just because I really like it or am biased or whatever, it's because it truly is. The directing was awesome, the story line, the script, the whole idea, and the effects, of course. It was much better than I expected. It was just awesome and funny, and I didn't feel bored even if it were a 3-hour-long movie. But I did feel the length of it though, because I was crying for so long I soon ran out of tears, but because the movie was so long they had time to refill and then dry up again. I mean, I started crying in 2011.

But everyone has to watch this movie. Everyone. Make sure you watch it before 2012, though, because you don't know whether or not you'll still be alive after. =P

Cheers. Will update on my Damai Laut post tomorrow. I just came back today after three days of swimming and beaching, and am so so so black.

By way of explanation

I suppose I ought to elaborate on my last post, perhaps more for myself than for anyone else. It is not a poem - I think it would be rather desecration to call it poetry - but they're not plain old sentences either. I didn't sit down with the intention to write it, but I did, in about less than 40 seconds. Same like what happened with my "Rue To The World" poem. Sigh. If only my "ssh" would come along that quickly. Yesterday my mom asked me about it, and I said I was to lazy to continue working on it. She told me I couldn't give up. And I think that was about one of the nicest tones she could have said it in.

Getting back to the topic - oh dear, I'm getting horribly sidetracked. It must be reading too much of Anne Shirley, it's a bad influence on me. I'm reading the fourth book now - I have the first three, and I've read the first book about, oh, I don't know, 7 times since I was ten years old - and it's my latest "phase". That's the thing about me - books I read and shows I watch have the heaviest influence on me. I think reading Anne of Green Gables when I was young turned me into a little bit like her. Though I could never be exactly like Anne. Sighs. Moving on.

I wrote that bit of nonsense earlier and I'm very proud of it. I think I couldn't have captured an outpour of feelings into a few nice-sounding lines more successfully. Therefore, I love it and have patted myself on the back on account of it. It would do very well for you to compliment me on it. Because words are so useless, really, and it is very seldom you get them to do as you wish them to. And now I have, in that little verse, and sunlight has finally spilled over the shade cast over me.

P.S. Is it just me, or is there something different about this post? I think it's my writing style.

Inspiration

You inspired me

I saw you only for a fraction of time

But you, being what you were, managed to make me want to be a better person

You made me want to get up and make a difference

I looked in the mirror, and I wanted to change myself to change the world

You made want to me pick myself up

You made me want to brighten up my life

But then I never saw you again

And now the feeling's going away

So I ask myself

Was it worth it

Or was it all a waste of time?

But I know I'll get over this

Although our paths crossed once

Although I fell in love

Now we're living in parallel worlds

Never to meet again.

Super belated Joey's Bday post

Sorry about the super belatedness! Anyway. Joey's birthday. Erm.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEY KEE!

LiSar came over to my house like super frigging early in the morning, stoopid gal. We played Tekken 5 in which I kept trashing her until I felt sorry for her and gave her chance. God I hope she's not reading this. Moving on. We finally left so we could reach there at 11.30, and when we were squishing in the car, I received a call from a boy named Gan.

Where are you?

Er... in the car?

WHAT?

Huh?

Now only in the car?!

You're there already?

Nicole told me to come before 11!

Poor boy. Surely had to wake up super early to catch the bus and reach before eleven. Moving on. We reached there and met up with Gan's twin - I mean James - who brought his friend, Jessica, who turned out to be a very nice girl, and seeing I'm quite suspicious of people I meet for the first time at gatherings like this, that's really a compliment. :) In Shogun, I would've eaten a lot more, but sadly everyone wasn't in the mood for eating, so I think I only ate about RM 40 worth to make sure I didn't rugi. How depressing. The food was a lot better at Shogun 2 years ago.

Some parts of the day were like uuberly awkward, due to the nature of "clique-ing" within our very own party - which was rather - absurd. It was also awkward when weirdos like Chee Hoe and Mel Yee turned up to give Joey presents, then disappeared, only for us to bump into them later with a couple of old SSPians. Haha. I was glad to see Chloe though, because she hadn't changed much, and that was nice.

I enjoyed getting candid shots with nic's camera. God! I've improved! I especially had fun when I found a great subject to focus on - a boy, named, well, I don't really know whether Terence is his real name or not. Anyway! If you want to see my beeauuuuuutiful handiwork, please go to nic's blog and patiently wait for the pics to upload.

I'm very tired now. No, actually, I'm not, but my eyes are all swollen due to the heavy crying I'd done just now. I feel oddly relieved and sort of elated after crying. Is that weird?

Disappointment

It's like climbing to the very top of a high, rocky mountain on a hot, sunny day.

And finding there was nothing much there after all.

Betrayal!

I'm too upset to do anything right now. Apparently my family had to go and eat my favourite pan mee which I've been craving to eat so long, WITHOUT ME. Ah well. Like a dagger through my heart.

Genting

Just came back from my overnight stay at Genting with Jeannie and Mark, which was 1 day after I came back from Fraser's. :) We stayed at First World hotel (God, the line to check in) which turned out much, much better than expected (once again, I was keeping my hopes low). But I didn't really expect the hotel to be filled with like five hundred thousand CINA people, all seriously lala muis and lala zais I swear, either that or old Chinese aunties nagging. There were like five CINA people in each of the two rooms opposite ours, and the kept opening and closing the doors to talk to each other in the middle of the night. In the end, my sister called security. HA! HA!

The outdoor theme park was awesome, it didn't rain, and we made the most of our time there. The first thing I rode was the Flying Coaster, the roller coaster where there are upside-down spins and you lie in a horizontal, Superman-like position. I super enjoyed the Corkscrew, especially the second time in the mist, when you couldn't see a single thing, even when you're like upside down and you can only make out the track. I went on the Flying Coaster again right after the Corkscrew (syiok dah) and this time I went alone!

The bad part was Genting kept ripping us off (pay extra for archery, haunted house, ripley's, flying coaster, flying experience, rock climbing, snowworld etc) and they closed some of the rides, like the Space Shot. Sighs. Ah well. My last Genting trip in a long time probably, so never mind.

I had a real great time with my sister and her boyfriend. Can't wait to go Damai Laut with the whole family next week. My last golden school holidays before two years of pure, solid, hell.

Jacie

My name is Jacie Tan Cheng Hwee. My chinese name means "smart in a quiet way". My first name was created to rhyme with 'Jeannie' and 'Jamie'.

Jacie is a pretty tough name for some people to pronounce. 'Jessie' doesn't do it, neither do all those other ways you pronounce my name. 'JC' also sounds different than 'Jacie'. There's a very subtle difference. Like Anne of Green Gables once said, when you pronounce a name, you can see it being spelt out in your mind, and that makes all the difference in the world.

There are just some people who can say my name with a knack. Jacie. The way those rare people say it makes me feel so happy with my name, and they can make it sound so poetical, even for a two-syllable name. I love those people. They are just random individuals, and I've never told them, for I think they'd just look at me weirdly and never call me by name again. But the other day I discovered another one of these people, hence this post.

Or maybe it has nothing to do with the way they say my name, but more of the way I hear it. Sigh, I think it's the latter, meaning I'm just as weird as I think I am.

Back from camp

The good thing about being pessimistic about camp (to a limit) is you don't get disappointed - in fact, you come back thinking, "Well, that was better than I expected." Camp was alright, though I can't help thinking it was too much the same as last year's - after all, it was the same place with the same facilitator and the same things they wanted us to learn. The F1+2's weren't as annoying as I thought they'd be, but they generally weren't serious enough la, I wonder if they thought the whole thing was a joke.

I'm so tired, but grateful I didn't throw up - I couldn't sleep going up Fraser's so I was really nauseous - thank God we missed the gap, it gave me time to recover. Going down was fine - the whole bus slept. After all, in 3 days and 2 nights, we only slept a maximum of 7 hours accumalatively.

I came back from Fraser's at 4.45pm to find the whole house preparing dinner for Mark's parents. And they forgot that I had to go to church! They went without me in the morning. So I had to rush like mad for 5.30 mass, and I sat alone outside, because stupid Herman didn't bother to come find me. Sad. Sitting alone means nobody could keep me from falling asleep, so I had to keep slapping myself to keep awake.

Going Genting tmrw for 2 days for bonding time with sister and her boyfriend.

FTI

I miss my girls.

I'm so enjoying life now, but I still miss them.

I'm only really talking to Li Sar right now.

I miss us FTIs.

Everytime something goes through my brain, like, ooh, nicole would love this.

Or, this would be so cha.

Or if joey were here, she'd fall over that.

Or this is so totally a TOOT moment for lis.

I've more to blog, especially about my RitzCarlton stay, but I'm too busy either playing Sims2, writing, reading, sleeping, playing PS2, watching Castle, or spending time with Jeannie who just came back. So I'd just like to post this. (:

Bones fan

I begin to regret that I haven't watched ALL of the Bones episodes, only just about 80% of them. Should I go back to the beginning and watch them all? Wait. I can't do that anyway. I don't have the episodes! Sigh. The reason for my Bones-mania? I went and searched all those 'shippers' fan videos on youtube between Booth and Brennan. Oh, and also because Bones replaced Criminal Minds on NTV7. I love this series. God. And I love all the people in it, too!

The Cast of Bones

Temperance Brennan, Bones herself

Seeley Booth, the FBI agent, whom I love so much

Cam, the boss

Angela, the pretty one

Hodgins, guy who likes bugs

Zack, currently in jail, God I miss him

Dr. Sweets, the psychologist

Wendell, my favourite intern

*NOT FORGETTING CAROLINE, SORRY NO PIC*

Penang Trip #2

This time I went down to send grandma back, and without my sister. Which meant I wasn't squashed half to death sitting in the middle and I got the whole of the backseat to myself coming home. What I ate was pretty much the same amount as last week, just with different food. MY SUSU TARIK WAS CLOSED! WHICH IS JUST THE SADDEST THING EVER!

But it was a really enjoyable trip, all the same - guess who I saw in Penang? Hahah. I was walking in some place that resembled Jaya One here when I suddenly got a call from Benny. I couldn't believe it, because I knew what was happening then! Hehe, I'd walked past a restaurant where he was eating. Lol! Penang's a small island. Tiny, really.

The drive back was scary - it was like, raining so super heavily visibility was almost zero. I stayed up to keep my dad company. The rain went on for like, two hours, which is very long to be driving when you can hardly see. And I have a question: Who taught Malaysian drivers to drive with the emergency lights on in heavy rain? Is it normal to do that? Because it's bloody annoying to squint through the windscreen, trying to see the road when all you can see are those irksome flashing yellow lights.

Oh, and I saw a burning car on the opposite side of the road. All I could see of the car was the metal frame already turning black, the windows all gone, and it was scary. I nearly burned my face trying to take a video - I could feel the heat from inside our car. Ignore the "ohmygods". It was a long drive. Burning cars tend to be rather interesting.

What I ate in Penang last week

I come back from Penang the second time, now only got mood to blog about last week. Hmm... I hope I don't miss anything out... This is what my family and I ate in Ipoh and Penang, Sat/Sun. I'm going to bold out all the must-haves.

Saturday

Breakfast

I ate a bit at this sucky rest stop in Rawang

Stopped in Ipoh to eat at our regular coffee shop, where we've been going for years, which is the ORIGINAL OLD TOWN COFFEE SHOP

- kaya toast, soup koay teow, iced coffee, fish balls

Wanted to try the coffee shop opposite, so went there immediately after the first coffee shop

- iced coffee, kaya toast

Lunch

- Assam laksa, koay teow th'ng (at Penang Rd), barley, huar chi, yellow jelly thingy in gula melaka

Tea

- Coconut water, tau kuah, prasembur, all at Padang

Dinner

Bak porridge, koay teow th'ng, o'chien, longan water, chee cheong fun, muaci

Supper

SUSU TARIK!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday

Breakfast

Lots of wholemeal char xiu pau, bread with homemade kaya, Hokkien mee, around 6 cups of coffee (all at my great-aunts house)

Lunch

Three Sisters' char koay teow (to die for!)

I can't remember what else I had after that, I think it was more coconut water at Padang. Yumm.

Writing

Argh. I've started writing again, and now I remember why I wanted so badly to stop in the first place. It's hard. It's so hard to get up with a good story line and let it unfold. It's worse still when you have no one to help you out. Now I understand why all the authors always thank a tonne of people in their Acknowledgements. Because without that tonne of people, the book never would've seen the light of day. And I don't have a tonne of people. No-one (that I'm close with) actually gets this. It's so frustrating and not helpful at all. Which is pretty sad. I'm never going to be able to do anything in Science or Maths (this coming from the girl taking Pure Science next year) but it's not as if I'm going to be able to succeed in Language. I mean, my English is merely mediocre at best. I don't have anyone to help me improve it anyway. To improve a language, you've gotta practice speaking with someone, right? And not just some half-past-six standard of English. Therefore, it's deteriorating day by day. Now I'm just stuck. Continue writing this lame story I've started, or start a new one and go through the whole process of struggling before I give up again?

Back from Penang

Hey! I'm so happy I went to Penang, it was on my to-do list. And I can't get enough of my dad's hometown! I badly want to go next weekend! After all, we went this past Sat/Sun to pick up my grandma for her medical check-up, so we gotta send her back. Just 2 days are enough! Well, not really, but it'll have to do! It's so awesome to be in Penang when it's not CNY; we get to do whatever we want, whenever, eat at all the shops that close during festive seasons, and it's not half as hot!

I won't list down all the things I ate in Penang and Ipoh, because if I do, this post will be uberly long. All I know was that I ate so much and so often, my stomach didn't have time to rest! I think I'm gonna have to diet for a bit if I wanna go back next week. =) I love Penang so much. Oh, and I thank my AhSim korkor, Derick korkor, kepoh, kepoh, kepoh, ipoh and amah for this trip. Plus parents esp dad for driving me all the way there and back.

Blue.

I just came back from Penang, and I should be two things: tired, and happy. I am happy, Penang was really great, more on that later, but now I'm just feeling blue. I feel sad, and I just wonder, about things, and - oh, did I mention I've started writing again? It was ages, since I... I've been having writer's block - I'm very disorientated right now, just sad, and I wanna get it all out. Because, I look at all the things I've jotted down when I just feel - like this, and I see it all, and I wonder if one day I'll ever have the courage to - show anyone what I've written, or, if it makes any difference, which I think it does, someone. Because it's just this feeling that feels like - I've never explained it to anyone, and I'm not so tired that I'll explain it here. Because I'm the type of person who'd never do that, ever. So right now in this moment of weakness, this is all I'd let slip, and then, tomorrow I'll be all rise-and-shiny again. Wait for it. But... I'll say this, I'm not okay, even when I say I am, because people rarely say what they really mean.

Went to school today for the first time with short hair. I still don't know whether long or short is nicer, most people can't decide, but the teachers (!) seem to like it short, whereas some people, like Li Sar, seem too taken aback by the fact that I actually cut it to give any comment. I like it. I've wanted to cut very long already, just never before PMR, because I'd probably spend about 7 days and 7 nights crying my eyes out if it didn't turn out nice. I know. I love my hair.

I hated school today so much I could only stand 3 hours of it. In fact, school was so boring I actually dug out my big fat Shakespeare book and read Hamlet. I preferred reading Shakespeare some boring old bald guy's over-exaggerations to actually doing whatever we were supposed to do in school. Imagine that. And now I'm really reading Hamlet, I totally agree: Hamlet is just some whiny old prince. Because that's what he is. Whiny. But cheers! I'm at pg9!

I swear I'll just die tomorrow at school. BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO DUE TO THE PREFECT MEETING. WHY???? WHY???? ARGH! WHY MUST IT BE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY? IF IT WERE IN THE MORNING AT LEAST I COULD...

Moving on.

It seems like I haven't run out of the holiday mood. Like, Nic and Joey and Lis said they were already bored, that all the things they wanted to do after PMR just don't have that special draw anymore. But me? I'm doing all the things I had on my list. I've gone on a shopping mania, am spending considerable (but not too many) hours on the PC, watching all the movies I wanted to watch, reading Shakespeare, catching up on my violin, lazing, blogging, immersing myself in all my various obsessions, I made tong yuen today, am going to Penang this weekend, and still having all my chores to do. Plus, my list still hasn't been completed yet. So maybe I wasn't exaggerating (unlike Shakespeare) when I said I'd enjoy post-PMR pre-SPM life.

Hamlet, Prince of Denmark

Oh God. You know "The Prince and Me"? Well, Shakespeare's a pretty big part of the show. I have this huge book of all of Shakespeare's written works, so I dug it out and checked up the sonnet mentioned in the movie. I found the sonnet (Sonnet 148, which is really sweet), and that was okay, but then Paige mentioned "Hamlet, this whiny prince from Denmark". I recalled reading the bloody story, and then I realised I don't remember anything about it. So now my task is to finish reading "Hamlet, Prince of Denmark". Properly. Without skipping any lines or useless speeches. Trust me, it's not easy at all. I started last night and have finished a grand total of 4 pages. I could hardly keep my eyes open. I read the same paragraph like, 3-4 times and still didn't understand it. At all. No kidding. I wonder if one day I'll be able to finish reading all of Shakespeare's works, plays, sonnets, poems and all.

Anyway, as you can see, I can get very obsessed by some random movie. Which is why I absolutely cannot read chick lits or useless bimbo movies. Because then I'll turn into some useless bimbo chick. I get easily swayed by movies and books that I really like. I guess maybe because I pay attention to details in movies and books that others don't, until I get absorbed?

I love shopping malls

I do! What's there not to love about shopping malls? Now that I have my trusty pair of Crocs, my feet never ache after about 5 hours of shopping. It's just the calves that give hell. I love Crocs. Seriously, I do. I know that now after... 5 hours of shopping with the girls in Sunway on Wednesday, 3 hours of shopping around Mutiara Damansara, and another 8 hours of shopping at Sunway Pyramid again and the Curve. Oh, and 2 hours today at Mid Valley. So yeah. I've shopped a lot okay? But just window shopping. In fact, I hardly bought anything much. Just a gorgeous top.

In fact, all I really want is a nice pair of strappy heels. Did I get them? No. In fact, yesterday the Tan family bought 7 pairs of shoes. 3 for mom, 3 for sis, 1 for dad. Hey. Jacie's name isn't mentioned. Why? Because fate just doesn't want her to get a new pair of shoes. ARGH!

Anyway, I went to MidV today to finish reading "Ransom My Heart" in Borders, which I've been reading everytime I managed to run to a bookstore during our shopping hours. I think I managed to finish it under 4 accumulated hours. Not bad. I liked the book, because it reminds me of the Prince and Me, and that's what I really like right now, but the second half of it was really draggy. Too draggy for me. Ah well. I wasn't gonna buy it anyway.

Did I mention I cut my hair? No? I'd post pics, but I can't upload now. Too bad! See you guys Wednesday!

The Prince and Me

I wanted to invest some time in a mindless chick flick since I'm still getting over the bout of depression CSI:NY brought on. No, that's not true, in two respects; I've wanted to watch this movie since before PMR and "The Prince and Me" is hardly a mindless chick flick. I mean, what's wrong with nice happy girly movie? I like 'em. Though asking me to watch "Confessions of a Shopaholic" might be a little bit too much.

Actually, this movie turned out much better than I expected (ending-wise) as it wasn't one of those overly-predictable happy endings. Plus, because the Prince Edvard (I never like him as "Eddie") has impeccable English (sigh!) and Paige is really smart and not a bimbo, I enjoyed the ongoing banter between them. Also, Soren reminded me of Niles the butler! Actually, I loved this movie. I'm gonna re-watch it.

One quote I'd like to post here, though there are other lines I like better in the show:

Brother: So Eddie, what's up with you and my sister?

Paige: John!

Brother: Paige, someone had to ask. He's too good-looking.

Eddie: I am not good-looking.

HAH! THAT'S GOT TO BE THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR.

People, you should watch this show. So I don't have to type out the whole script here.

I just found out there's a Prince and Me 2 but they changed the actress and the reviews say the old chemistry between prince and girlfriend is not there. Hmm. Should I bother downloading it?

A tribute to Jessica Angell

A tribute to Jess Angell

I know. PMR's over, and I've just started up my blog again, but I'm not kicking off with the traditional "I'M BACK!" or "FREEDOM!". The reason why? As part of my post-PMR activities, I watched the last episode of CSI:NY Season 5 today. What happened? A spoiler here, people.

Detective Jessica Angell died.

How could that have happened? After five seasons, she finally got together with Don Flack. And they were so happy together. And then. She died. Is that fair? No! I hate it when writers split up my favourite TV couples. I watched the whole thing and was pretty much bawling for a whole hour. Crying my eyes out. I couldn't believe she really died. But the way she died was so... sweet. That Don was with her. That he tried to save her and all. But the fact she died is so... not.

If I had my way, I'd post here every quote of Jess Angell and every second of how she died, but I think that would be too much. But I really wish all my favourite series wouldn't fall apart.

Summary of how she died: She was on the phone with Flack when some armoured truck crashed into the cafe where she was. She was supposed to protect some jackass so she started firing. But she got shot in the stomach and shoulder by the guy with a military gun. Flack heard it and went to go get her. He found her bleeding on the floor. He sent her to the hospital himself but she died in surgery.

According to Joey, I must tell people when I plan to take a break from blogging.

Hello? My blog, and I need to explain myself?

...

It's not even read by many people anyway.

Not those who don't know the obvious reason, anyway.

THIS BLOG IS CURRENTLY SHUT DOWN UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

ritz

Me and my family went for classical English tea at Ritz Carlton some time ago last month.

Didn't really have the time to blog about it.

Why did I upload all these pics?

Should have put them on Facebook la.

Lousy me.

But the tea was great, and I had soo much fun messing with the camera.

These are pics of Ritz Carlton and Starhill.